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Posts Tagged ‘civil’

Please, Secede!

Secede Bumper StickerIf you haven’t heard, several states have issued post-election secession petitions to the White House. Gun sales have also skyrocketed since President Obama won a convincing reelection bid last week. Some are now correlating that these two responses portend an impending Civil War II. While I won’t argue the ridiculousness of that assertion, based on the fact that the vast majority of the population in those states oppose such a radical reaction to a Black man inhabiting the Oval Office, I will offer a simple peaceful solution to the remote possibility that Americans will once again take up arms against each other: LET THEM SECEDE!

It’s not so much that many of these “America: Love It, Or Leave It!” bumper sticker toting hypocrites, who don’t believe in science; the separation of church and state; or true individual liberty, are trying to drag the rest of us into an apocalyptic quagmire they gleefully call “The Rapture”. It’s more that while they claim to want the feds to stop giving handouts to the so-called “takers” in this country, it is actually them that are the true recipients of handouts from “big government”. Yep! THEY are the ones creating a real drag on our economy and inflating our national debt with their insatiable hunger to suck on the tax-payer-teat. Six, count ’em, six of the top-ten per-capita recipients of federal assistance dollars are states that are leading this secession campaign.

I say, let ’em go! We’ll save money, we’ll instantly raise the IQ level of our country, and we’ll have a neighboring country to whom we can export the high tech products we will be producing: from alternate energy sources to efficient cars, innovative communications to cutting-edge entertainment, and new medical breakthroughs to natural resources. It will also make it much easier for the elected representatives that remain, the majority of which will come from “Blue States” based on the states leading this new Confederate charge, to move forward with the business of governing the country rather than trying to negotiate with reactionaries that are more committed to filibusters and political ideology than to compromise and real patriotism.

In short, it will be an expeditious way to clean the American gene pool, and get this country back on a track that honors and respects individual freedom, intelligent discourse, and the American tradition of including the “huddled masses yearning to breathe free”. Besides, if you truly want to leave this country because a person of color has become your leader, you were never a true American to begin with … and, please, let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!

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