One less spot, please!

WARNING:  THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND/OR ADULT THEMES! (Sorry, no porn)

Have you tried parking your vehicle in a parking lot, lately?  It doesn’t matter where it is.  Grocery store, shopping mall, doctor’s office, museum, sports event, or even school … it’s all the same.  Parking spots barely big enough for a car like a Cooper Mini – the small one!  Then, they have the gall to have long stretches of “Compact Only” spots … are you kidding me?!?!

Unfortunately, most of us drive something slightly bigger than a beach chair with wheels.  Which makes parking between the white lines a bit of a challenge.  Most folks end up failing that challenge, turning the lot into a bit of a free-for-all at best and a cluster-fuck at worst.  Often, you’ll find 12 or 13 cars using about 20 spots.  Talk about efficiency!  NOT!!!

I understand that you, the spatially challenged who design these lots, are trying to maximize space, especially if you are collecting a fee for the spots.  But, the freebie lots have no freakin’ excuse.  And it doesn’t take that much space.  Just give up one or two spots per group of twenty and you’ll give us all more than enough space to park.  Every driver, from the 2-person electric death-trap to the house-on-wheels gas-guzzler, will rejoice and sing your name in praise as they easily glide their ride between the lines.  Plus, you’ll actually end up utilizing 4 or 5 more spaces than you do with the current cramped quarters conditions.

However, if you continue to use the wheelbase from my grandmother’s wheelchair as your basis for the width measurements of your spaces, then game on!  I think we will need to start a grassroots movement.   We can call it NOBS – National Organization for Bigger Spots … or something like that.  We’ll get celebrities on board … stars like Bono and Angelina Jolie who will get in your face and bring public opinion crashing down on you like a Hulk Hogan body slam.  Before you know it, congress will get involved … mandating that you make your spots wide enough to accomodate something along the lines of a Sherman tank.  Then, where the fuck will you be???

So, is it a deal?  Or do we have to get  “Jason Bourne” on you???